What Was to Come
by SpazKit
Summary: Recalling the past... Slightly shounen ai.


I drew this dinky little picture today, and I was inspired by it. Somewhat Shounen Ai.  
  
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What Was to Come  
  
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It's cold here.  
  
Faint light creeps upon us from the cave's mouth, casting shadows on our shivering forms. Gagazet is not a merciful mountain, and the biting chill of frozen winds had tired us; we had retired early, even before sundown. Despite my agitation at our stopping, inwardly, I was glad. Glad to spend a few moments silence with those I cared for.  
  
We had no wood, there was little we could do to warm ourselves. We had no food; we had eaten the last that morning. Thus, we simply collapsed upon the chilled stone floor, happy to be out of the glare and out of the snow. Jecht was almost immediately snoring, huddling himself upon the ground.  
  
I don't know what came over me as I watched him shiver.  
  
Without thinking, I removed my belt and rested it gently to the stone floor. I slid the glove and bracer from my arms and they too accompanied my belt. Yes, my body mourned the loss of warmth as I removed my well-worn red robe, but I didn't think about it. I eased the flowing cloth over my fellow guardian's body, tucking the still-heated fabric around his shoulders. Jecht sighed beneath, bringing his arm below his head as his mop of hair cascaded over his face.  
  
I swear, I don't know why I did it. Because I sympathized? Because ancient feelings of compassion were licking their dusty tongues upon my weary and illogical mind?  
  
Now, I was cold. I attended to Braska, helped him remove his ceremonial cap with frozen fingers. He watched me strangely, his eyes searching me, cutting through me. I wondered if he saw me at all, or if the overpowering truths that he so sought were crushing his thoughts and mind as his sapphire eyes simply took in his immediate surroundings with a dull glance.  
  
Again, stabbing searing heat of pain entered my mind, attacking my mentality with razor sharp accuracy. This was wrong… there… had to be another way. There had to be! I cannot, will not…  
  
I leaned against the cold of the cave wall, my back pressing against the dirty surface. I took a deep drink from my flask, the chilled sake burning and freezing my throat raw, at the same time. I drank until I was short of breath, and then, with a tremor in my hand, placed the potent liquid back to the ground.  
  
I slid numbly to the floor, my rear almost slapping against it with brutal feeling. I leaned my heavy head backwards unto the wall, staring at the entrance to the alcove. Outside, snow fell silently to the ground, refracting, reflecting, enticing the light to blind me. I briefly closed my eyes to spare them from the intensity of the glare.  
  
Jecht snored softly, snow fell silently and soon… Braska would die.  
  
I winced, heat flooding into my chest. I retrieved a shaky breath from the frigid air, and exhaled a pocket of steam. Yevon… why does it have to be this way?  
  
My eyes were still closed when Braska came to me.  
  
He said nothing, and I know that if I had heard even a whisper of his calm voice, I might have lost control. He slid beside me, my arm lying lax behind him. The plush of his robes pressed against my cold skin and colder leather, and I almost gasped when the ebony vest pressed against my sensitive flesh.  
  
As reluctant to admit it as I was, I almost leaned into my lord, the warmth of his robes a sweet seduction to my tired and numbing body. Turning my head to him, I cracked open an eye, finding my charge sighing from some stray thought that echoed in his burdened mind. He was indeed pressed close to me, normally far too close for comfort, but perhaps… Perhaps because of the relentless march, I knew that this might be the last I would feel him at all, so I didn't protest when he pressed his soft robes against me. In friendship, in cold, I didn't care.  
  
Only our soft breathing spoke our fears, and it said volumes to me as the steam puffed before our faces.  
  
After a time, I felt wisps of his short blond hair begin to impede upon my face, gently caressing my cheek. More and more they came, dancing upon my skin like dainty fingers. I didn't know if he did this on purpose, though I believe he was not aware. The silken blond of his hair multiplied until my nose was buried in the soft mane as he slept against me, his head pressing into my shoulder and collarbone with a not entirely unpleasant weight.  
  
My lord, don't leave me, please…  
  
I jammed my eyes shut, making a vain attempt to will the mournful thoughts from my mind. I know I shouldn't have, because they remained closed until dawn. As I succumbed to exhaustion, I was vaguely aware of him nuzzling my neck and huddling closer still as he slept, perhaps trying to evade the fears of what was to come. I wish… I wish I could have done more…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Somewhat depressing. And picture I drew really sucked, I'm surprised I felt the need to write from it. Odd. I'm feeling really uninspired in the Aurikku sense right now. Sorry. I am Muse-less. 


End file.
